#cuz i was soooo excited to get bagels
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literally having the worst day ever and i cant ever be happy (has only experienced minor inconveniences today but they keep adding up)
#first of all i didnt get a lot of sleep so im mad tired#second of all the place i usually get lunch on campus said they werent doing bagels at the moment and it ruined me#cuz i was soooo excited to get bagels#third of all i was already cranky so i got all in my feels last night#so i had a dream where my gf who isnt my gf and saw each other on one fo the campuses and she was w her friends#at one point we were both leaving and iw as watcing her and her and her friend knew i was there#so then her friend comes over and shes like '[gf name] loves you so much'#and i was about to cry tears of joy i was like REALLY???#and then her friend started laughing and gestured to my gf who isn't my gf's OTHER friend behind me and she was like 'jk lol she meant#this friend not you el oh el'#and then my gf and her friends were all laughing at me and i burst into tears#and then in full on sobs i was like 'i loved you so much how could you leave me'#and then my gf was just like 'well youre a bad person and you think youre sooooo myseterious and youre a terrible person and i never loved#you' and oh my god it ruined my morning#i know a lot of it was just psychological cuz i was already moody when i went to bed#and i have this werid paranoia where i think her and her friends talk shit about me#which i doubt they do but it still stresses me out#so thats probably why that hapepned#and then on top of all that. fourth of all im getting lunch and i literally see her outside. like i dont see her for days and of course#the day i least want to see her shes right there#i mean im generally doing better than september and i didnt feel the same sinking feeling#i used to in like sept but still like brooooo bro this day could not be worseee#the only good thing that happened was that i passed my physics exam <3#also yeah again i said these are minor inconveniences im just frustrated lol#sunny rambles
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Another Round
Another Round
Fic Summary: You and Colin have been avoiding each other ever since the two of you were interrupted the other night. However, when Mare calls you to come to the bar to pick up Colin, you’re left with no choice but to deal with a very drunk Detective Zabel. Love Exists Masterpost. The Evans Fics Masterpost.
Fic Rating: Mature
Pairing: Colin Zabel/Female Reader
Warnings: Language, mild spoilers
All you want is a quiet evening at home.
The investigation into Erin’s death had shaken everyone to the core in Easttown, and you are no exception. In a place where everyone knows everyone, to have such a sudden and violent crime happen is enough to put the citizens on edge. You are feeling it and you sure as hell know Mare is feeling it. You’ve been doing everything in your power to be there for her and do what she needs but it’s hard since you’re not a full-blown detective. At least, not yet. You hope to be one day once you’ve had enough training and gone through all the proper channels.
For now, you’re content on being Mare’s trainee. Well, more like assistant but technically you’re a trainee. Actually, your exact title is Junior Detective but it makes you feel like you should be wearing a badge made of construction paper attached to your shirt by a safety pin. So you stick with trainee. Though that hasn’t stopped Mare from calling you ‘Junior’. Whether it’s to keep you at arm’s length or she just enjoys annoying the shit out of you, you’re not sure. You assume it’s a little of both.
Anyway, back to the quiet evening thing. You’ve been home for a few hours, settled into your tiny apartment with a slew of snacks and the latest crime docuseries on Netflix when your phone goes off.
You see it’s Mare and immediately pick up. “Hey, everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah everything’s fine.” You can barely hear her over the background nose. Tons of people are talking over each other with loud music thrown into the mix. “Sorry to call you so late but I need you to come down to the bar.”
“Do we have a lead?”
“Not exactly. It’s Zabel.”
Instantly your heart drops and you get to your feet, immediately scouring the floor for your discarded shoes. “Did something happen? Is Colin alright?”
In the background, you hear, “Heeeey, hey, Mare! Is that her? Are you calling her? Lemme talk to her.”
You hear her struggle for a moment before telling him to knock it off. “He’s fine. Just drunk as shit,” she says once she manages to get the phone back from him. “Can you come pick him up and take him home?”
“Oh, um…alright.”
“Is that a problem?”
“No. No, not at all.”
“I just figured since you two—”
“Oh we didn’t end up…we haven’t…” You stop yourself from going any further and embarrassing the both of you. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
Ever since Mare interrupted you and Colin about to go at it in his hotel room, things have been more than a little awkward. Despite confessing how much you like each other, neither you nor he has made another move. Before it was spontaneous and a spur-of-the-moment decision, fueled by passion and excitement. By now, you have lost yourself in your own head and you get the sense he has too.
The two of you can’t even make eye contact without him quickly looking away and blushing. It’s adorable, yet incredibly frustrating to say the least. But the case is more important and you’ve been more than happy to forget about the embarrassing incident.
When you get to the bar, you’re faced with a vastly different Colin than you’re used to. The second you walk through the door, he calls your name excitedly and stumbles over, beer in hand.
“Oh my gosh you’re here,” he slurs, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “Mare! MARE! She’s here!”
“Yeah, I know, Zabel, I called her.” Mare’s face is as stoic as ever, and yet you can still see the corners of her lips twitch up into an amused smile.
“You wanna shot?” he asks you. “Yeah! YEAH, let’s get shots! Imma get you a shot!”
“No, Colin, I’m good,” you say but he’s already stumbling away. “Colin? Colin! Oi, whatever. How long has he been like this?”
“Since I got here,” Mare says, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Sorry, I thought you two were…I mean, the other night…”
“Nothing happened,” you say. “Since, you know, you interrupted. Things have kind of been awkward and we haven’t really talked about it.”
“Well, he’s certainly in a talkative mood tonight,” Mare says as you both watch Colin flag down the bartender and loudly ask for two shots. “Just make sure he gets back to the hotel in one piece, alright?”
“Will do, boss.”
“Thanks, junior.”
“Ugh, you know I hate it when you call me that.”
She smirks, patting you on the shoulder as she walks by. “I know.”
You make your way through the crowd to the bar where Colin is currently leaning. “Come on, Colin. I’ll take you home,” you say.
“Not before you do a shot with me!” he insists.
“Can’t, I’m driving. Besides, I think you’ve had enough.”
“Come ooooonnnn,” he slurs, nudging you with his shoulder. “Just’the one lil one? Then I’ll go…scout’s honor!”
You can’t help but chuckle, not used to seeing him so carefree and silly. After a moment of contemplation, you ease yourself onto the nearby stool. “Fine. Just the one.”
“That’s what I’m talking about!” Colin exclaims, sitting next to you. “Shottttsss!”
The bartender slides two shots over and you make a subtle motion for him to cut Colin off. He gives you a nod of acknowledgment, slyly swiping Colin’s half-full beer bottle as he moves on to take care of someone else.
“Okay, okay, okay, we need a toast,” Colin says, handing you one of the shots.
“Oh really? To what?”
“Hmmmmm…” Colin’s face scrunches adorably as he tries to get his drunk mind to think. “How ‘bout to us?”
You raise your eyebrow. “Us?”
Colin leans in close, pressing his forehead to yours, his voice dropping low. “Us. You know, me an’ you.”
“Didn’t know there was a me and you.”
“Could be. Should be. We did almost…you know.” He leans in close to your ear and loudly whispers, “Have sex.”
“Yes, yes we did almost have sex.”
“So?” he gestures with his shot, spilling some in the process. “To us?”
“To us then.”
You clink your shot glass against his before knocking the drink back, trying to hold in a cough as the liquid burns your throat. “Dear god that’s strong.”
“YUP.” Colin slams his shot glass down on the countertop, then winces when he realizes what he did. “Oops. Is’okay. S’not broken.”
“And we’d like to keep it that way,” you say, sliding the glasses off to the side. “So, what you say I take you home?”
“Wait, wait, wait, not yet. Let’s talk.” He puts his hand on your arm to stop you from standing. “We need’a talk.”
“About?”
“I’m sorry about the other night,” he apologizes, head slumping on your shoulder.
“You don’t have to apologize, Colin. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But I did. I did. I should’a talked to you about it after but I chickened out.”
“Yeah, well, I could have talked to you too. I guess I also chickened out.”
“Here’sa thing. I jus’…you’re soooo beautiful and I get all tongue-tied around you and say stupid shit and I know you’re going to realize there’s someone better for you, and I just…”
Realizing he was way too far gone to be having such a serious conversation in the bar, you slide your arm around his waist. “Hey, hey, let’s talk about it later, okay? Come on. Let’s get you home.”
“Home’s too farrrr.”
“I meant your hotel room.”
“I don’t like it there. Take me to your place.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I won’t try anything. Swear. I jus’…I don’t wanna go back to my empty hotel room.”
Your heart aches at the puppy-dog eyes he gives you and you find yourself relenting. “Fine. But you’re sleeping on the sofa and I’m not cleaning it up if you get sick all over yourself.”
“Thas’fair.”
You help Colin settle his tab with the bartender and then you escort him out of the bar, your arm still around his waist. His arm goes around your shoulders again but it’s mostly so he can attempt to walk straight. Eventually, you are able to load him into your car before climbing behind the wheel. The shot didn’t do much of anything and with your place being so close, you know you’re okay to drive.
Colin reclines his seat back, shutting his eyes. As you make your way towards home, you’re sure he’s fallen asleep until you hear, “Y’know, y’er really pretty.”
You smile to yourself, keeping your eyes on the road. “Thanks, Colin. I think you’re pretty too.”
“Really???”
“Yes.”
“Ugh, I’m so stupid. Should’a called you for a date the day after all that happened.”
“It’s okay.”
“NO! No is’not. I ghosted you.”
“Colin, I don’t think it’s ghosting if the other person doesn’t reach out to you either.”
“It’s not?”
“Not really. Pretty sure that just ignoring each other.”
“Oh. Okay good. Well, not good we ignored each other. Good you didn’t think I ghosted you. Cuz I would NEVER do that to you.”
“Good to know.”
“And you won’t do that to me. I know you won’t. You’re too sweet. You wouldn’t break up with me two weeks before our wedding.”
Your heart sinks when he says this. Chancing a glance at him, you notice how sad his eyes are. Truth be told, you don’t know much about Colin, mostly because with the intensity of the case, the two of you haven’t had time to properly get to know each other. But his drunk words are way too specific to be a hypothetical scenario.
“Is that what happened to you?” you ask tentatively.
“Yup. Not sure how it happened. Or why. She just woke up and said, ‘hey, I’m not in love with you anymore’. And I’m like ‘s’ok, can I put my bagel down first?’…” he babbles, head rolling to the side so he can look at you. “Jus’ like that. Done. No more.”
You reach over to take his hand. “I’m sorry, Colin. That’s…that’s really shitty.”
“Isn’t it? I mean…I don’t know wha’ happened. But…whatareyou gonna do?” He squeezes your hand and brings it up to his lips so he can place a sloppy kiss on your knuckles. “We’ve been driving for a loooong time.”
“It’s been five minutes.”
“Really?!”
“Just close your eyes. We’ll be there soon.”
“M’kay.”
Not long after, you pull into your driveaway, letting go of his hand so you can park the car and shut it off. You sit there for a minute, admiring his side profile as he lays there with his eyes closed. He is a handsome man. You can stare at him all day. Every time he greets you with that wide smile, your heart skips a beat and your stomach does a little flip-flop thing.
He must feel you staring because he opens his eyes and gives you a crooked smile. “We there yet?”
You smile back. “Yeah, we’re here. Let’s get you inside.”
“Okaaay.”
With you guiding him and doing most of the work, you help Colin up the walkway to your place, pausing now and then when he sways and puts too much weight on you. Once inside, you dump him onto the couch before going back to lock your front door. Briefly, you pause to send Mare a text letting her know you’re both safe, before shutting your phone off and tossing it onto the counter. You shrug out of your coat and shoes before rejoining Colin in the living room where you left him.
“This is a nice place,” he says, sprawled out on the couch with his head nearly hanging off the armrest. “Looks homey.”
“If by homey you mean small, then yeah. It’s real homey. Come on. Sit up so we can get your coat off.”
“Tryin’a strip me down, you saucy minx,” he slurs, leaning forward as you try to pull the long coat off his arms. “I know your game and I accept.”
Laughing softly, you manage to wrestle him out of the coat before he flops backward. “No games tonight, Zabel.”
“Fine but at least a kiss?”
“That’s definitely not a good idea.”
“Jus’a lil one…come on, lil kiss…” he says in a soft voice, trying to lean in. “Jus’a peck. Lil smooch.”
Still laughing, you gently force him to lay back down. “Not while your drunk. Maybe in the morning if you’re feeling better we can have a little smooch.”
“Been thinking about kissin’ you for days,” he admits as you start to untie his shoes for him. “And picturing you on top of me. That was nice. I liked that. Let’s do that.”
You toss him a grin as you slide the shoe off his foot. “Like I said. Maybe…If you’re a good boy.”
His smile widens and he wags his eyebrows. “I’ll be’a good boy for you.”
After ridding him of his other shoe, you tuck a blanket around him. “Sleep it off, Colin. We’ll talk in the morning.”
“Wait, wait, wait, don’t go,” he urges, grabbing your hand as you make a move to stand. “Not yet. Don’t go yet. It’s jus’…I wanna talk to you.”
“Okay. About what.”
“Everythin’. Anythin’. LIFE! Let’s talk about life.”
“It is way too late and you’re way too drunk to talk about life.”
“It’s just…the thing is…I’m getting to that age, right? I’m getting to that age where I’m starting to look at my life and I’m going…well, here’s what I thought it would be and…here’s what it actually is…” He throws his hands up with a sigh and a shrug, letting his thought hang there.
You’re all too familiar with that feeling. And yet, you have no idea how to respond. He’s not the only one looking at his life and wondering what the hell. There you are, living in the same town where you grew up, a detective in training living in a shitty, tiny apartment with neighbors who press their noses to the window every time you set outside. You haven’t had a relationship in years, mainly because you know every single guy in town and have grown up with them. The thought of dating and settling down with any of them does not appeal to you in the slightest. Never did. Not that that’s the only way to live your life but it’s something you would like to do someday. With the right person.
“Am I making any fucking sense?” he asks, more to himself than to you.
“Yeah, yeah, you are.” You reach up to lay a hand on his cheek. “Get some rest, okay. I’ll be just in the other room if you need me.”
“Mmm, okay. Rest sounds good. Sleep good.”
He rolls onto his side, taking your hand with him and almost pulling you across his body. You manage to wiggle free with a chuckle. By the time you get up to shut off the living room light, he’s already snoring.
You have too many questions and not enough answers. This man, this big hero detective that is supposed to help solve the case seems just as lost and alone as you feel. You wonder if that’s why you were drawn together. Two lost, lonely souls who found each other among such darkness.
Too tired to go down that train of thought, you slip away to your room, wondering just how much Colin will remember in the morning.
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Tagged by the ever so lovely @sodascherry love youu💕✨
1. What color is your hairbrush? Blue with flowers
2. Name of a food you never eat? I’m a vegetarian so anything related to meat
3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? I’d like to be too cold, it depends though
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Eating!
5. What’s your favorite candy bar? Idk
6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yes I used to see basketball games a lot
7. What’s the last thing you said out loud? Something to my cat lolz
8. What’s your favorite ice cream? Strawberry🍓
9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Sparkling water
10. Do you like your wallet? Sure haha
11. What’s the last thing you ate? A bagel!
12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? I got these super sparkly turquoise thigh high boots ahhhh
13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Something NASCAR
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Cheddar
15. Who’s the last person you sent a text to? My babyyyy chad😍
16. Ever go camping? No but my honey wants to take me🥰
17. Do you take vitamins? When I remember haha
18. Do you go to church every sunday? NO WAYYYY
19. Do you have a tan? I DO! 😊
20. Do you prefer Chinese or pizza? Depends on my mood haha
21. Do you drink soda through a straw? I try to not use straws unless they are reusable
22. What color socks do you usually wear? I have soooo many all different designs and colors haha
23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? Yasssss
24. What terrifies you? Dark spaces (bathophobia), abandonment
25. Look to your left, what do you see? My kitty witty NIKKI😻
26. What chore do you hate the most? Cleaning the bathroom
27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Thor hahaha
28. What’s your favorite soda? Dr. Pepper or sprite from McDonald’s
29. Do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive through? Depends, usually drive through tho
30. What’s your favorite number? 24
31. Who’s the last person you talked to? My mom
32. Favorite cut of beef? EW DISGUSTING
33. Last song you listened to? Dance Hall Days - Wang Chung
34. Last book you read? Steven Tyler’s autobiography!
35. Favorite day of the week? Any day I see my baby❤️
36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Nope haha
37. How do you like your coffee? Iced, tons of flavors and creamer lol
38. Favorite pair of shoes? I have quite a few but probs my white vintage thigh highs with big chunky jewels at the tops from the 80s
39. Time you normally get up? Before 9 usually
40. Sunrise or sunsets? Both honestly
41. How many blankets are on your bed? Right now just one
42. Describe your kitchen plates? White with little floral patterns on the edges
43. Describe your kitchen at the moment? Idk it’s a kitchen! I can’t wait to decorate my own
44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? Lemmy!! ♠️
45. Do you play cards? Nahh
46. What color is car? Yellow beetle💛
47. Can you change a tire? Nooooo
48. Your favorite state/province/county etc? Nevada cuz VEGAS! Or Arizona! My honey and I are going to Vegas as soon as we can 😌I’m so excited.
49. Favorite job you’ve had? I’ve only had one job forever lol at party city
50. How did you get your biggest scar? Something self inflicted
I tag: @anxi3tyx @sheonlycaresaboutbands @fishflake @gojosiego if you wanna!!!💕
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alright, it’s mega late and I have to wake up somewhat early and get on a plane, so let’s get this thing going. I woke up to my alarm at 9:55 once again, took about 2 seconds to convince myself to get up (not bad), got ready, ate three oreos for breakfast (because I can) and went to PT. It was a good session, but I think I might have overdone it a bit on some of the strengthening exercises, like having done too many in a row and not taking breaks when needed, because I’ve had some pain in my lower stomach area since then that feels vaguely muscular, so I think I might’ve gone a bit too hard there. Though I will say it’s nice to know that it’s at least making some difference, lol. I got out a few minutes early and stopped at the kosher deli (which is directly in my path from the PT place to the train) and got a bagel since three oreos is really not a sufficient breakfast, then headed to the train to go to class. The bagel wasn’t half bad, one of the better Chicago options, but knowing I can get real New York bagels tomorrow just made me really want NY bagels while eating this subpar Chicago bagel (sorry kosher deli, I still love you). I got to school and dumped my stuff on the second floor, then went up to class. I ended up getting cold called on a case I hadn’t written out a case brief for because I read it in the car on the way back from Ohio. I had copied info from lexis about it so I did have info in front of me, but it was scattered and not super helpful. And obnoxiously the book only gave us a single page of the opinion, so there really wasn’t that much to tell, and I feel like that kinda made me look bad because like, I didn’t have much to say?? I mean, the entire premise of the case is this employer had an intelligence test requirement to get hired, and it was shown that the test disproportionately failed African Americans, and the question was whether it can be found to be discriminatory if it is facially neutral as a policy (the answer is yes). So I said that much, and I was able to keep up with his follow up questions pretty well, so I was overall pleased with how the interaction went, even if I was a tad ill-prepared. I just need to suck it up and write out case briefs for every case, especially being that this is legit the only class I’m still actually doing the reading for, lol. The rest of class was fine, after I went back to the PAD office, where friend-guy from the office was there. I attempted to do some of my secured transactions reading before class tonight, but fuck if I understood like anything they were actually saying. Eventually I went to Starbucks and got a pink drink and a piece of the iced lemon pound cake. Hung out for a bit then went up to class, where I will admit I was preoccupied for most of the time, but I did at least manage to get some notes written, though I don’t know if they actually make sense in context. oh well. we did another Legends power hour on twitter to try to get #RenewLegends trending, so I did a twenty tweet long list as to reasons why they should renew it, so that was sufficiently distracting and required a bit of thought, but I was pleased with it. Class ended at 8:30 when it’s supposed to, I headed home, it was quite cold but I made it back to my apartment just fine. It was about 9:35 at this point, and Designated Survivor had been airing since 9, so I turned that on and started from the beginning. Damn do I love this show. I was soooo not prepared for tonight to be the episode Kim Raver was guest starring in, and I sufficiently freaked out when her and Kiefer had interactions because !!! Jack and Audrey !! my babies !! before I knew what shipping was, I shipped them so hard !!! So to see them together all these years later (and we’re talking like at least 10 years at this point) it was pretty great. The plot was decent, perhaps not the most exciting but fine just as well. I liked the part about the president’s daughter (Penny- I just looked it up, I thought her name was Grace for some reason) which was just so freaking precious, with her standing up for kids getting bullied after having to deal with her mother’s death. I hope this is leading towards the president dealing with his grief in a better way. At the end of the episode I was up a bit longer so I turned on Jimmy Kimmel. I was filling out my ballot for the primary because I got it mailed to be cuz it was easier, and I was trying to at least do cursory research on the candidates, though it’s difficult to find much on most of the judicial candidates. I tried to at least find small bios though, and made sure I voted for all the DePaul alums running (there were several, which made me happy) and otherwise just voted for the women candidates, because lord knows we need more woman judges. After I finished up there I started packing for tomorrow, grabbed my duffel bag and started throwing stuff in it, clothes, a suit for the interview friday, and other necessities. I’m still feeling quite conflicted regarding the interview, I keep thinking like “what if they offer me the job on the spot?” which I know is probably unlikely to actually happen, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do if it happened, I feel like I would feel pressured to say yes because this has always been my first choice job, perhaps the only job I could actually get involving children, definitely would be the most fulfilling job that advances my career goals as much as possible, but like, does any of that matter if I’m miserable and lonely the whole time? I mean, I don’t know that that’s what’ll happen, I do have friends who live in the city that I could socialize with, but I just don’t know what’ll happen, and that freaks me out. Sigh. Alright, enough with that. After I started getting ready for bed, and after showering spent a while downloading Avalance fics off AO3 for the flight tomorrow, and definitely have way more than I could possibly read during a two hour plane ride, lol. I really don’t have anything I need to work on over break, which feels nice, but also kind of makes me anxious that there is something I should be working on but am not. *sigh* oh well. It’s legit 2 am now and I have to wake up in a little over 5 hours so I think I’ll be calling it a night here. Goodnight sweeties. Sleep well.
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Alright, so today was good, went mostly according to plan. I had my alarm set for noon but woke up at 9:40 and couldn't fall back asleep again so I shrugged and got out of bed. Everyone had just left for church so it was just my sister and I, and she wanted to get some breakfast so we went to the bagel store where we both got bacon egg and cheese sandwiches on a roll which were highly satisfying. We made a quick stop at target because I needed to buy toothpaste. I finally ran out of the prescription stuff I have, and the refill expired so I guess I have to go to the damn dentist....but in the mean time I needed toothpaste. The fun part here is thanks to my acid reflux/mouth issues I can't do anything mint, which if you hadn't noticed is the entirety of the adult toothpaste selection. So I got Colgate kids watermelon. Lovely, I know. My mom's car was running low on gas so we stopped at the gas station before going home. It was fucking cold standing there and pumping gas, the snow was mostly off the roads but there was definitely some problem places, and there were apparently a shit ton of car accidents on the island yesterday. So as we were going home I was giving my sister tips on how to drive in snow, even though she probably won't start driving till next winter, it's always valuable knowledge to have, lol. So we got home and set to repack my suitcase with actually folding clothing and so it would all fit in there, cuz it wasn't currently. My bag was only at 43 pounds on the way here, so I wasn't too worried about going over 50 with Christmas presents and such (stay tuned for more on that). After that I just hung out for a while until my parents came home from church, then I said my goodbyes and we left for the airport. Of course my parents wanted to park and accompany me inside, which ended up being a pain the ass because they overcomplicate EVERYTHING and I really know what I'm doing when it comes to flying at this point because I've done it many, many times, many more than they have. And of course having them there and like, talking to the ticket lady for me makes me feel like a child, so that was annoying too. And oh, surprise. Your bag is 15 pounds overweight! Great. I would love to know where I got 22 pounds of Christmas presents and clothes, but apparently that's a thing. So the lady says we can get a bag from her for $25 and stick some stuff in it to avoid the larger overweight bag charge. So then I'm standing there unpacking my bag and putting stuff into this new one and then I really felt like a child because I couldn't even pack my damn bag right and I needed my parents to help me. Lovely. But it was over soon enough, and I wasn't really pissed, just annoyed. So we said goodbye and I headed through security and to the gate. Like I posted earlier, I downloaded a few fics onto my computer to read during the flight. Soon we were boarding, and I decided to take the middle seat next to the cute guy in front of me, normally I like window seats but the lady in the aisle seat was already standing up so it was just convenient that way. We didn't end up talking, but it's okay he wasn't really that cute, lol. So we end up in the air and I start the shorter or the two (very long) fics, which clocked in at 44 pages, and occupied me for the flight to Baltimore, which isn't very far. It was a Nyssara fic about Nyssa spending Christmas in star city with Sara and her dad after Laurel died and it was just so incredibly sweet and adorable and Nyssa is learning all these American Christmas traditions and she's so excited about all of it it's just the cutest thing ever. It's not finished yet so it has a lot of unresolved plot stuff, but I like it a lot so far. I actually took notes on my phone at the parts I loved so I could remember to comment on them later. I hope I didn't spook the author, who I don't think I've ever interacted with, with my rather enthusiastic comment. So we landed and I got to the next gate and waited for a while, finishing up that fic and then starting the next. It's like 49,000 words and 118 pages, and I subscribed to the author (she's on here somewhere but I can't recall her url at the moment) sometime before she wrote the last two chapters so the email notifications have been hanging out in my inbox for a while now, so I figured I should get around to reading it. It's captain canary of course, set after Len's death ("death") for Sara but time wise in 2013, picking up right after Mick leaves the bar after telling Snart he's a hero to him. Sara shows up and convinces him to make a deal with him, that she'd help him on 3 heists free of charge in exchange for him breaking her into a very secure house that has something that belongs to her in it. He's of course very curious about her at first and can't really figure her out, and he tried to renege on the deal in the middle of the first heist, but instead of running like he told her to she stayed and fought off the guards so he could escape, even getting shot in the process. So now he's really like ??? No idea what's going on. Then we get into the plot from the flash 2x03 when Lewis shows up and puts a bomb in his daughters neck because she's a fucking psychopath, but now he has Sara with him, and that's about as far as I got, 43 pages in. Not bad. The flight was fine, everything standard and we landed in Chi pretty soon. Got my two (😑) checked bags from the baggage claim and head over to the uber pick up spot to wait for mine to come. He got there pretty quickly, and we were off. We talked most of the way, got into a good conversation about like, trying to always be decent to people and not blowing up at some poor sap not in control of the situation that you're unleashing all your anger at, and what exactly is that gonna help anyway?? It was good. When we were fairly close I mentioned I work in the child abuse and neglect law, so we started talking about the system (which is a fairly common occurrence after I tell people that fact) and the flaws that it has, and how they could be remedied, and how difficult implementing that remedies could be. Overall it was a pretty good ride and I enjoyed the conversation, and of course he told me good luck on everything which was nice. Then came the task of carrying my fucking suitcase up the stairs to my apartment, which was fucking awful and soooo difficult, and of course when it comes to common sense like "carry your bags up one at a time" I'm a fucking moron and that didn't occur to me until I had them all up there (so good at academics, but such an idiot when it comes to common sense). But finally I made it up there, at which point I basically collapsed on the couch because I was so dead from what I just did. I did get some dinner though and decided to watch last week's episode of Conviction that I missed. I have to say, I'm sorry to see the show go. It had a very bumpy beginning, but it seems they've really found their niche now and the last few episodes have really been exceptional. It had so much potential to be something really great, but it just couldn't get off the ground quick enough to avoid the chopping block, which makes me sad. But anyway, the "ripped from the headlines" case was about schools protecting a star student athlete accused of rape, and then someone kills the bastard and one of his victims gets convicted of his murder. During the investigation they uncover that he did the same thing to 3 other girls after the first one, all of whom were too scared to come forward after seeing how the school was so awful to the first girl. It ends up being the rape crisis counselor that did it, which was an interesting choice, but she gets out so that's a happy ending at least. Their character interactions are getting better, or at least I don't want to stab the characters every five minutes, so hey that's progress. After it ended I left the tv on the news for a while and hung out on my computer for a while. I got my textbooks and looked at my reading for tomorrow night's class- 77 pages. Lol, good to be back. After a while I started getting ready for bed, and at some point my roommate came home, so I talked with her for a little bit, updated each other on our lives over break and such. I told her about the incident with the school, and she was furious and so glad we won that one. I'm gonna write out a full post on it when I get a chance, excluding personal information of course, but just laying out the facts and how fucking ridiculous the school was being. But thinking back on it, I'm really proud of myself for how that went down. Yeah, it was my dad's position that allowed us to get the chance to argue our case, but it was my words he took in there, my words that changed their minds. And like, this is the same exact thing I've been protesting with this school for so long, but this is the first time I was actually listened to and actually got justice for. And like...I really can't tell you how much that means to me. It's everything. That's why I'm here, that's why I'm in law school, to find justice for the wronged, and of course since this case involved religion as well it really for me inflamed because I love my faith so much and it makes me really fucking furious when assholes like this go around trying to hijack it for their own self-righteous needs and claim that's what their faith is. No. I'm sorry, but do not follow the same God you do. The God I know and love so so much would balk at these actions being done in his name. And it just breaks my heart to know these people are going to be responsible for turning people off to Christianity entirely, and have them think God is this judgmental angry person, like his followers, and they will never see the incredible love He has for all of us and everything that comes along with that. A quote that's stuck with me a lot lately is "you are the only bible some people will ever read." Like that's so powerful to me. When I slap on the title "Christian" my actions will be associated with my faith, and I can either cause people to be drawn closer to it or to be pushed away. Like if that's not incredibly convicting, I don't know what is. I'm ranting now though, and it's getting late so I should stop. I have to wake up around noon (lol) tomorrow so I'll have time to do my 77 pages of reading before class, haha. Fun life, but it's the life I chose and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Well, until tomorrow. Goodnight babes. Sleep tight.
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